Category: Best Dramatic Presentation: Long Form
Here’s a list of Captain America’s superpowers:
- Being strong.
- Being good.
- Being irritating as fuck.
Was he out taking a piss when they handed out personalities in the Marvel universe? Was he helping elderly women cross the street? Was he in a boy scout meeting? Whatever happened, that zero-dimensional bore is the reason I didn’t enjoy these two hours of senseless superhero violence, which is a shame.
Iron Man has a problem with booze, at least. Hulk has rage issues. Cap’s got nothing.
Come to think of it, Captain America: The Winter Soldier wasn’t science fiction or fantasy at all. It was a generic action thriller with some futuristic props. They could have thrown Captain America out and put James Bond in and nobody would have noticed. At the very least, Bond would have done a better job at flirting with Black Widow.
All Captain America is good for seems to be posturing and telling everybody what’s the moral thing to do (in addition to throwing his shield around which looks sillier in movies than in comic books). I almost rooted for the comically sinister Nazis.